Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
I was sorting through some old family photos today and came across this one of my maternal grandparents who were married in 1902. This picture was taken around that time. I thought the picture was so romantic and captured a really lovely moment, so I copied it for my blog. I showed it to my Mom and she told me my grandmother hated being on the water because she got terribly seasick. So much for romance!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I've been getting home later recently and there are usually a myriad of errands to run after work. Tonight as I walked to my car after completing the final task I felt stressed and overwhelmed. I looked up and saw the sky's "afterglow" following the sunset. It felt like a reward at the end of my daily race.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Lately I am having trouble recognizing my life. It feels as though my life has taken a vacation and left me at home. This afternoon as I raced to make it to one of my Mom's doctor appointments I saw this bicycle parked in a bike rack. The sun was hitting it just so and the brilliant red fender was calling me. The bicycle wasn't locked up and the temptation to throw caution to the wind and take it for a quick spin was great. As cold as it was it would have been liberating to forget all the responsibilities and just ride into the wind. My responsible self prevailed, but even now almost ten hours later I'm thinking about that bicycle!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Right now I feel like everything in my life is under construction. I am trying to find some kind of balance in my life, a routine if you will... my life is under construction as I struggle to find a rhythm between working, caring for my Mom and managing things in my own life I feel as though nothing is normal right now.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My Mom was discharged from the hospital today after a two week stay. She is still very weak and will need oxygen (they were adjusting the portable canister which is why it isn't in this photo). I had to shoot this picture from the hip without looking through the viewfinder... hospitals get crazy about cameras, HIPA laws and all. I almost didn't post this. Mom's expression is curious to me. She looks wary, almost frightened as she gets wheeled out of a very secure environment. She will return to her home where there will be lots of adjustments and challenges. This is a new chapter for all of us. I'm worried and a bit scared myself.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I got a call at 4:50am from the hospital telling me my Mom needed life threatening emergency surgery because she had several pulmonary embolisms as well as a blood clot in her leg. Of course I raced to the hospital. The doctors were brought in to do the surgery. The procedure was successful and she seems much more alert and like herself tonight. She got lucky! I figured with that kind of luck she ought to try a scratch off lottery card! She didn't get lucky with lotto, but she is lucky to be alive.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
This little place called MUD is right down the block from the hospital. It offers good coffee, interesting eats and wi-fi.... just about everything I need right now. It has become my new office and a quick get-away. I see a lot of Mom's doctors in there too.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
As I sat with my Mom today I saw how bruised her hands and arms are from all the IVs and ports. Her fingers, the outside of her hand and her forearms (which can't be seen here) are all various shades of purple and red. Her slight hands are still full of life and strength as she clutches the tubing which brings her oxygen--her lifeline. Mom's a fighter and she's hanging in there. I wish I could give her back part of the life she has given me.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The weather turned warm today and hit sixty degrees on Long Island. It felt like Spring and if my Mom were not in the hospital I would have landed in Tampa at noon today to cover the New York Yankees spring training. It is beginning to look like Spring in her room with some really beautiful floral arrangements. Mom's hemoglobin dropped today and they found an aortic valve problem today. Lots of questions still, not many answers.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
This corridor at Winthrop University Hospital is known as Hoag 1 to the cognoscenti. After five days of staring down it I include myself among them. It looks remarkably quiet in this image. The reflections of the flourescent lights on the floor look a little like a racing stripe, rather apropos because there is usually a bevy of activity in the hall. Mom had some tests today and I am hopeful I will get some answers tomorrow.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
There is nothing pleasant about a hospital stay...especially when you are along in years. The loss of independence is depressing and when you are seriously ill all sorts of thoughts run through your head. My Mom's expression says it all. The nurses who care for my Mom write goals for her on a board in her room. For days the goal has been "OOB". I finally realized that it is an acronym for out of bed. Today, Mom was able to leave her bed for a few minutes--- first time in four days. It was a small accomplishment, but I was so happy to see her sitting up. I wonder what tomorrow's goal will be.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Another long day at the hospital. I brought Mom some of the get well cards and birthday cards that have come to her home.I am taping them up on the hospital wall to make the room look more festive. Her next door neighbor sent some gorgeous flowers too that really brightened her spirits. She hasn't responded to the two pints of blood she received and today doctor's ordered another pint in the hopes that it would help her breathe more easily. Mom's fighting and I am praying for a miracle.
Friday, February 6, 2009
It was a very long day. I got home late from the hospital and as I got ready for bed I heard my Mom's voice in my head "Got a blog for tonight?" No. No I don't I thought. Then I stared at the little black lamb, a Steiff stuffed animal that has sat on my dresser since I was about eight years old. The lamb went away to college with me and has been my silent sentry, watching over me from the watch tower of my dresser. I remember the day my Dad bought it for me. I don't really remember him well (his work took him away a lot), I was eleven when he died. But I remember how carefully he choose that lamb from the glass case in a shop in Floral Park. The doctors told me my Mom's breathing is even worse today. She has been on oxygen for more than twenty four hours, but her breathing is shallow and labored. It scares me to watch her struggle. Tonight I think my Dad is watching over us both.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I spent the entire day at the hospital today. My Mom hasn't been feeling well the past few days and this morning when she called I could tell things were very bad. I am so spent tonight that I almost didn't post. I don't have a photo from today and I figured there was no point. However, I thought about how my Mom is the person who reminds me on each day to post. She almost always asks, "Have you got a blog for tonight?" There are times I post only because Mom doesn't want me to miss a day. So, tonight as Mom (who will be 91 in four days) rests in the hospital, fighting to breathe, I offer this photo of her from last December.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I was playing with a new lens tonight when Sonia brought Pistachio (one of the outside cats) in to the house from the single digit cold. P got to warm up for a few minutes and then started to get skittish. Pistachio who was feral is really just a big mush. He is friendly and tame, but regardless of the weather he likes to live outside. It's a good thing too, Slugger wouldn't want any other cats in his castle.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
If I didn't know better I would think all the snow we have had this winter is some sort of punishment. As I navigated the back roads today looking for a "snowy" kind of photo I tried to recall the last winter that was this bad on Long Island. It's almost midnight and I just came in from shoveling yet again... it is still snowing. One thing I know for sure, all this white stuff will really make me appreciate being in Florida. One week to go!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Today's milder temperatures lured people outdoors. Lots of people found ways to expend pent-up energy. Skipping through the shadows of the Long Beach boardwalk was just one of many. I liked the sharp contrast of light and dark running through the image on a diagonal. The girl's red pants were just a bonus punctuation mark. Twelve days until pitchers and catchers report!