The summer before I left for college my Mom and I took a trip to Canada. It was there that I first learned about the legendary Hudson Bay point blanket. Made in England, this 100% wool blanket has a heritage that goes back more than two hundred years. Mom told me that the blankets were so highly prized by Native Americans that they became important articles of trade - each short line or "point" woven into the edge of the blanket indicated the number of beaver pelts to be exchanged for the blanket. That summer she bought me a blanket to take away to college with me in the fall. Since then that blanket has been on every one of my beds. I have slept under a Hudson Bay blanket regardless of the season or temperature. Friends joke that it is my security blanket and I suppose in a way it has become just that. Of course with all the possible places he could sleep, Slugger's favorite is on that blanket--- at least he isn't under it.
My mother's mother was the only grandparent I knew and we used to see her at least twice a week. Behind her house was a small pond that she had made long before I was born. The pond although quite small and shallow looked enormous to me and she used to stock it with goldfish. I was the youngest of her seven grandchildren and the only girl. My older cousins used to challenge me to jump over the pond. Invariably I fell for the "dare" and wound up landing smack in the middle of the pond. My mother would scold me, but Nannie always took my side and would talk to the boys in her gentle way. The one thing I remember about that pond was the beautiful water lilies growing on it. I had never seen water lilies before and of course whenever I see them now I remember my grandmother.
On weekends when I was a kid my Mom used to take me to a local family farm for fresh vegetables. I remember how sweet the tomatoes and corn were. That farm is long gone as are many of the family farms on Long Island. A few remain and fortunately one is not too far from where I live now. I don't get there as often as I wish, but when I do I remember those Sunday afternoons with Mom. It was at that farm where she taught me how to pick the perfect ear of corn without opening the husk and other produce selection secrets! Years later the corn and tomatoes are never quite as sweet as they were so many years ago, but it is still worth the trip for fresh local produce.
The pain in my leg persists, it radiates down the outside of my left leg into the top of my foot. Any kind of prolonged walking is extremely painful. Physical therapy has strengthened my leg, but doesn't seem to address the pain at all. Desperate to find a way to end my pain and reclaim mobility I decided to try acupuncture. Acupuncture has helped many of my friends and it has helped me in the past. The needles are placed in trigger points to release muscle constriction. Today I could actually feel and SEE my muscles jump as a needle was placed in my shin and in the top of my foot. Acupuncture isn't covered by my insurance and it isn't cheap, but hey I am willing to do whatever I have to do so that I can walk without pain.
It's hard to believe that this is Labor Day weekend and that summer is coming to an end. Instinctively I want to hold on tighter when I am threatened with the loss of something. I want to get as much as I can before it is gone. The end of summer always makes me sad. I know one day I will live in the land of sun, where the weather is never too cold and the beach is not that far. A place where I won't have to shovel snow or wear a parka. The sunshine state is calling me... soon.
Today Slugger's dietary restrictions were lifted so he could celebrate his birthday. Besides a bumper crop of treats, he had one of his favorite things, Haagen Dazs raspberry sorbet. Of course we sang happy birthday, he made a wish and yes with a little help he blew out his candle. Happy 7th birthday Slugger. I am so grateful that he isn't spoiled. :-)
I replaced the front door on my home a few years ago. I never liked the original front door and replaced it with an American Arts & Crafts style door. I love the leaded glass panels in the top of the door, the symmetry of their strong graphic style. Today I took a real close look at a portion of one of the three identical panels and loved the dimension and detail in the glass. Maybe what I really love is that this is the last door I have to walk through before I am home.
I am not a morning person but I have come to appreciate morning glories. These flowers which grow on a climbing vine typically last for a single morning and die in the afternoon. New flowers bloom on the vine each day. For years I have tried to pull morning glory vines from my garden. They climb on my other plants and twist around my shrubs, yet no matter how many times I pull them out they return. Today as the sun was setting I saw this lone morning glory which was climbing on my butterfly bush still open. Usually by the early evening the blooms have closed and the flower has begun to die. So I wondered if this bloom would see two mornings? I suppose if I knew that I didn't have the night ahead of me I would embrace the morning and get a whole lot more done.
Although I don't like the thought of it chilly days are coming. In the evening, just before I head upstairs to wind down I usually go out to see my outside kitties. The past few nights I have found Pistachio in his "house" all curled up. He burrows into the old sweatshirts and towels that I have placed inside to keep him warm. For the entire summer he hasn't been in his house, so I know he too is feeling the cooler evenings. I'll know winter is coming when I see Hazel sleeping in P's house too.
One of the blessings of a summer birthday is being able to spend it at the beach. My cousin has said that as far as the weather goes, my birthday is always one of the ten best days of the summer. Today was no different. The only difference is that my knee was not up to a day at the beach. So, I decided the boardwalk was safe and about as close as I could get to the beach. I did some walking, good therapy and there were plenty of benches along the way. I did admire the umbrellas that dotted the white sand and made a wish for next year.
Last week I came across this old Crosley radio that dates to 1951. I love its form and when I plugged it in it worked! The only thing missing is the pointer on the dial. In the world of ebay this 57 year old radio would be called vintage. I usually think about vintages when I buy wine. I will be 53 in a couple of days... I guess that makes me vintage too. Here's to all things that hail from the 1950s, they may have a few broken parts but they still work.
Out in the garden today I noticed how the sunflowers I love drop their heads and face the earth as they start to die. There is something wonderful about the back of their head the geometry of it is striking. So as I studied the backs of things today I decided to move forward with my blog. It's a good visual exercise and requires a certain discipline. Discipline doesn't come easily to me. Most of all, Looking for Light has helped me to see many things in a different light.
Today was like most other days, Slugger spent the better part of it sleeping. In my next life (if there is one) I would like to return as a pampered indoor cat. Sleeping is something I don't do enough of. I'm still not sure about blogging, but I am going to sleep on it. I'll decide tomorrow. As Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day".
I thought a lot today about why I do this. At first it was the challenge... to make a different image daily. I thought it was a good exercise to keep me fresh, as well as an outlet for homeless images. A reason to take pictures that I would otherwise not take. I promised myself I would do this for a year. But that was before the flurry of people downloading my pictures without even asking. Because of that I have become disenchanted with blogging. Today I have gone back and forth about whether to continue Looking for Light. I haven't arrived at a verdict yet, so I am posting this picture that I shot months ago in Florida of me cooling my heels. I don't know if I will post again but I will always be looking for light in my life.
A very good friend of mine warned me. She told me "Be careful what you post...because it is public and it is out there". I never thought that someone would start downloading my photos without asking me. In the past five days five of my images have been downloaded... even a picture of my Mom which kind of scares me. It has also kind of soured me on blogging. If you want to download or use a photo of mine please have the decency to email me...just ask... it is that simple. Please don't take my work without asking first. My work can't be downloaded, stored or used without permission. All my work (words and pictures) are subject to US and international copyright laws. For those of you in the business...you should know better. Its simple to email me and ask. AND YOU ALL KNOW IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
As I was heading home late this afternoon the heavens opened. I haven't seen such torrential rain in a long time. Even with the wipers working at top speed visibility was terrible. But the rain racing down the windshield created a kind of impressionistic feel to the street. I liked the spots of color and the sense of movement. The driving conditions were abysmal but from inside the car it all looked a little like a watercolor....no pun intended!
Is this a face that only a mother can love? I just loved this bulldog's expression, especially as an ad for pet containment. Of course when I read "pet containment" I thought of my two outdoor cats and wondered if I should investigate this given my neighbor's threats to trap them. But containment just doesn't have a nice ring to it. Animals like to roam, cats are curious by nature and what about free will? A containment system? Pistachio and Hazel would be miserable. Might as well have a goldfish in a bowl. Does anyone or anything really want to be contained? The restrictions my knee surgery has created is containment enough for me. No pet containment here. I'm going with freedom and free will.
Today was a day many of the residents in my small community of sixty one homes dreaded. Today the very controversial stop signs were installed. My home is on a corner and that intersection now has a three way stop. So one stop sign is on my corner and the one pictured here is in front of my neighbor's home, but I can see it as I sit at the desk in my home office and look out the window. I felt the stop signs were really unnecessary. Our community has one way in and one way out. There are only five roads. There is very little traffic because unless you live in here or are visiting someone there is no reason to come here. The stop signs were installed because a few new residents felt they made things safer. When I saw them being installed I felt sad and as though it was the end of an era. The bucolic suburban landscape now has a little more urban flavor. As I look past my computer screen and out the window I see the big, bright red stop sign. Somehow it is easier to stomach if I believe the sign is telling me to stop working so late. When to stop and when to go. I've been thinking about moving a lot lately.
The decision as I leave the house each day is what cap to wear. This decision never involves a team choice, New York Yankees only please! Okay I confess one St. Louis Cardinals cap worn when the Mets played the Cardinals in the playoffs. It's a long story. There is also a New York Jets cap..but that's a different sport. Most of the other caps are all Sarasota, Florida related. The Yankees and Sarasota two things very dear to my heart. And caps? I don't leave home without one.
The weather today was crazy. One moment the skies were dark and foreboding, punctuated by thunder and heavy downpours. Moments later the sun was out. Funny the weather mirrored my mood today. I was depressed because at physical therapy my knee began to swell considerably and my therapist thought it best to have me do very light activity--no treadmill at all. Tonight as this plane passed through the clouds I took heart. The clouds will pass and blue skies will return.
Besides looking for light I am always looking for different angles. One of the things I like about this gym is that it is open and when you come in on the ground level you can look down through a circular opening at the treadmills on the lower level. I give them a quick scan and settle on the one I will use. Part of my physical therapy is to walk backwards on the treadmill...talk about angles and seeing things differently. The idea is that it helps to fully extend the leg. This "retro-treadmill" work is no small feat and is very disorienting. But it underscores the importance of angles, not only in photography but in every aspect of life it is important to see all sides.
I couldn't help it I was out marveling at the "from the birds" sunflowers again today. I'm not alone in my fascination with them. There were about a dozen bumble bees hard at work gathering pollen form them this evening. The bees worked tirelessly and I now have a much clearer understanding of the term "worker bee" and its genesis. I always get a lot of joy watching the little seedlings that I plant grow and flourish, or seeing a perennial I have planted return the following season. I can't get over how happy these accidental sunflowers make me. They are special!
I am still amazed by the large clump of sunflowers growing in my yard thanks to the seeds serendipitously dropped by the birds who frequent my feeders. These unexpected beauties are a real gift since my gardening efforts were quite limited and really short-circuited by my knee problems. I like to think that the birds sent me a get well bouquet! The sunflowers are beginning to open. I love the geometry of their unfolding the green triangular tips of their leaves and the symmetry of their lovely yellow pointed petals. I love the mystery of it all, the way they got here, the way they open and then wondering what their faces will be! This unexpected gift from nature amazes me and I am so grateful. But sometimes I think this wasn't an accident at all.
As we waited for dinner to be served my eye was drawn to the composition of this image. I just liked the juxtaposition of the water glasses and the sense of depth they created as well as the halo of light behind Laurel's head. I also liked the highlights on the water glass in the foreground. Most of all I liked the moment it captured.
Tonight as I was sitting on the couch with my laptop a friend remarked on the glow of the computer screen reflected in my glasses. I decided it was worth a look and took a picture with the camera in the laptop! I was pretty impressed with the quality of the image, but a little scared by the wear and tear I see on the subject.
After three and a half hours in physical therapy today I decided to try to walk a little on the street in front of my house. I had to know if I was making any progress. I wanted to know just how far I could get without experiencing major pain and without limping. This is the view my foot had of the test run. By the way, I didn't make it too far...just the other side of the intersection. I'm getting discouraged.
I've always had a soft spot for gecko lizards. Probably because they are only found in warmer, tropical climates. The type of climate I usually choose for a vacation! Geckos are harmless little creatures, probably another reason I like them. This gecko came to me by way of Sarasota, Florida. My cousin and I were shopping on St. Armand's Circle and I fell in love with this metal sculpture. My cousin bought him for me. He now lives in my powder room and reminds me of points South.
Slugger has become my constant companion as I recover from knee surgery. I call him my nurse and although he can't even bring me a drink of water he gives me so much more. He curls up next to me and his very presence calms me. When I drag myself into the kitchen he positions himself directly in front of the closet where his treats are kept. This is "the look" he gives me when he is looking for a handout. Treats are not part of his diet.... but sometimes I cave in.
I have a big white butterfly bush at the edge of my patio. When I first moved in it was unwieldy and I almost took it out when I had the patio redone. Every year in early Spring I cut it down to nothing and wonder if I cut too much. Will it come back? Did I go to far this time around? This year it is the perfect shape, not too tall and not too wide. Today the first Monarch butterfly of the season stopped by for dinner. In a few weeks the butterfly bush will be in full bloom and lots of butterflies will be passing through.
Recovering from surgery is bad enough, but to make matters worse this weekend a new neighbor (moved in three weeks ago) rang my bell before 9am to tell me that he didn't like my cats roaming in his yard and intended to trap them and "dispose" of them. I begged him to at least tell me if he trapped Pistachio or Hazel (my two outside pets) so that I could retrieve them. He said this was my notice and he would not tell me if they were trapped. Of course I was beside myself. Since Slugger and Pistachio don't get along bringing "P" inside is not an option. Today, a friend took Pistachio to the vet to have him micro chipped. This tiny device can be scanned by vets and shelters in the event a cat is dropped off or brought in to be euthanized. So now as I tend to my knee I spend a lot of time looking out the window to keep tabs on the cats. Sometimes Pistachio is there looking in as he is in this photo (okay I need to wash the window). I have been thinking of that ancient Chinese proverb, "He who dislikes the cat was in his former life a rat". I smell a rat across the street!
This fruit bowl which sits on the coffee table in my living room caught my eye tonight. The light was fading fast and I was talking on the phone when I noticed the way the deep cobalt blue separated from the fruit in the bowl. I also liked the depth and texture of the cut glass stars in the bowl. I reached for my point and shoot which is always ready. It is about all I can handle these days and grabbed this photo. Because of my knee injury I don't get very far from home. Because I am forced to spend so much time at home. What amazes me is how familiar objects and things look so different when you actually spend some time looking at them.
Slugger's cousin Angus came to visit me today. He was very well behaved and even wiped his paws. Angus and Slugger get along so well. Of course Slugger was the perfect host. They kept me company as I iced my still very swollen knee.
After two hours at physical therapy today (which wiped me out), my cousin decided to take me for a drive. Little did I realize the drive would be to the local Toyota dealership so he could shop for a new lease. As I rested in one of the comfy chairs near the entrance to the dealership, my eye was drawn to the reflection of the Toyota emblem on the hood of a new car on the floor. I really liked the color and composition of this image.
The next step in my recovery from surgery is physical therapy which I began today. I had several months of therapy almost two years ago at the same place and believe that postponed my surgery. I am grateful that some of my same therapists are still here. I know the drill and I am prepared to do the work. I know it is a long road ahead. Patience.
Lately, I have started to feel a lot like a hen sitting on a nest. Tethered to the magical ice machine and perched on the couch my days are filled with a whole lot of sitting. Hens sit on their eggs for about three weeks before the eggs hatch. I admire their patience and have begun to realize that I am in very short supply of that virtue. I'm not trying to hatch any eggs....just an improved knee! I really like the expression, almost resignation that I see in this hen's eyes. I think I recognize it in myself.
My Mom always told me that when one door closes another opens. And so it is in life and in death. I have known Blake for years, but until recently we didn't know each other well. She is half my age and I remember when she was dating a handsome guy named Alex. I remember when they married. I remember when we all shoveled snow together, laughing and complaining at the same time. I remember the day I learned that Alex had died very suddenly and much too young at age 26. Blake launched Always Alex to commemorate him and to honor his life. Rich in detail and design this extensive line of handcrafted gorgeous jewelry for men and women includes many striking pieces. These designs can be found in exclusive shops on the North Shore of Long Island and The Hamptons too. Always Alex is a stunning line of jewelry designed with the same kind of creative spirit that Alex embodied. From his death, Always Alex was born and continues to grow. Anyone interested in seeing these designs is welcome to email me.
The past few days I have flirted with the idea of abandoning my blog for awhile. It is really a challenge to try to find photos worth posting when all I can see is the view from my couch. Feeling very frustrated and discouraged today, I did look out the kitchen window to see the first sunflower in bloom. Sunflowers are my favorite flower and I always forget to plant them. This year I have a huge clump of them coming up though... right near my bird feeder. I guess the birds managed to drop enough seeds and I have at least two dozen sunflowers stretching their heads toward the sky. A true sun worshipper, its head follows the sun as it crosses the sky. The common sunflower is often referred to as big smile and that is exactly what I did when I saw this one blooming in my yard. I hope I am moving a little better tomorrow.
My cousin Elaine came by to visit me today and to see how I was recovering. She brought Reese along for a visit too. Reese was spayed last week and has to wear this plastic cone to keep her from picking at her stitches. Reese and I compared stitches. Her's come out tomorrow. I have to wait for Wednesday but at least I don't have to wear a cone!
